Forever grateful
by LennySp
Summary: Set sometimes between 9x09 and 9x10. Harvey dealing with the pain and Donna being there for him.


The last few days have been hard, going against Mike and Samantha and at the same time mourning the loss of his mum. But luckily Donna knows that deep down he needs to talk about it.

"Harvey, I know it's not gonna change anything, but at least she didn't suffer. She was the happiest she's been in years and it was all because you made peace with her," Donna says giving him a strong hug.

Harvey tenses because he is trying to keep it together and he doesn't want to cry again in front of her. "Donna," he sighs, "ever since you told me that mum passed, one thing keeps haunting me." Donna doesn't break the eye contact, not even for a second, silently waiting for what is going to come next. "I am glad that mum didn't suffer but whenever I hear something like that, I just want to say 'bullshit'". Donna is not sure where he is heading with this. Another moment in their relationship when she is at loss of words. "You know what I have always been afraid of?" he asks softly.

"Spiders?" Donna smiles and raises her eyebrow in a very cute way. She knows that whatever he's going to say next is going to be serious and she just wants to lighten the mood a little.

"Donna!," he smiles back. "I have always been afraid of losing people I love. And I've always been scared that I will receive a call from someone telling me that the person I love is gone. Knowing that she didn't suffer eases the pain a little but even if I was able to prepare myself for what was coming, I would still be dreading the moment the phone rings." Donna is still not sure where he's going with this. When she sees his sad eyes, she doesn't want to prolong the agony so she keeps quiet, letting him speak. "Of course it is good to know that your loved one did not suffer but in my case, finding out meant that the person I love the most in the whole world had to suffer.

"Harvey, where are you going with this?" she asks because even though she is Donna, she is still not getting the message.

Harvey can see she's confused. "Donna, YOU are the person I love the most in the whole world. I lost both of my parents and each time it was you who had to suffer. You were the one picking up the phone, you were the one listening to Marcus telling you something that was going to break me, you are the one who…"

"Loves you the most and would take all the pain from you if only I could," Donna jumps in, not able to keep the tears from going down her face. "Donna, I…" he gets closer, taking her hand in his, gently kissing her forehead. "Being able to hold your hand, kiss you, give you a hug and fall asleep in your arms is taking the pain away from me even though you might not realize. If I didn't have you, I would be out in a bar somewhere, drowning myself in my sorrow and Macallan 18," he continues. At that moment Donna cannot take it anymore because the last few days she has been trying to stay strong for Harvey, not showing any sign of weakness whatsoever. Harvey doesn't expect to see her cry so heavily and his heart is now breaking in million pieces.

"Donna, look at me," he gently touches her chin, slowly lifting it up and locking his eyes with hers.

"Harvey, I'm so sorry," she sobs.

He knows that this is it. "Baby, one of my biggest regrets is never letting my mum meet you and you her. I have wasted so much time. Not talking to her, not being with you. But this is it. I'm done."

"What do you mean?" she whispers.

He reaches for his pocket and takes out something. When Donna realizes what that something is, her brain stops. "Harvey, you're confusing me so much today. I'm Donna and I hate being confused, you should know that by now," she says wiping her tears away.

"Donna Roberta Paulsen…" he starts, more confident than he's ever been at court. Donna's eyes are filled with tears again because everything is slowly starting to make sense. Harvey is kneeling in front of her holding the most beautiful ring she's ever seen. She lifts her hand to cover her mouth, trying to hide the shock.

"For the last 15 years, I was the most confident person probably in the whole of New York. Frankly speaking, I was a dick. I was a dick towards people who have done nothing else but fight for me. There are things I can no longer fix but there are things I am sure I can. It took me almost 15 years to tell the most beautiful woman in the whole world that I was crazy about her and that there was nothing else I want to do more than to wake up next to her till the day I die." Donna is listening to every word, trying to hold herself together but failing big time. "I don't care if I lose my job, if I lose my license…things that were the most important for me for a long time. I hope you realize I have been using the past sense because things couldn't be more different now. Everything changed the day you kissed me in your office, the moment your soft lips met mine. I was so lost. And back then I was still a dick and pushed you away. The night I came to your place…when you opened the door, I knew my priorities changed forever. The one hour of sleep we got that night…I had a dream. I saw a strawberry blond girl running around a house…our house…and that girl was our daughter. And it all made sense. This is the life I want. I want everything with you. Donna, I love you so much…would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" he finishes the speech.

By the time he finishes, Donna's hands are shaking and her eyes are completely red.

"Yes," she says and her lips crush his. He puts the ring on her finger, enjoying the view.

"Harvey, it's beautiful," she whispers.

"It's a perfect match," he says and wipes the tear from the corner of his eyes being forever grateful for the day the redhead crossed his path.


End file.
